Timmmber!

Remember our beautiful Xmas tree I was talking about the other day????

Can you believe that bitch fell down!!! Never in all my years of putting up trees have I had a tree FALL DOWN.

Here's the story...
I was preparing for work, in the bathroom, just got out of the shower with the bathroom door closed. I heard a kinda loud noise. Thought *what the hell was that??* Perhaps it was my mobile phone again...vibrating itself off the chest onto the floor. I opened the door and looked out, mobile still on the chest, I thought *hmmmm, of well - dogs didn't bark must not be too much* closed the bathroom door.

I came out of the bathroom to finish dressing, in a half dressed state, I decided I needed to go in the kitchen. I turned the corner from the bedroom....... there it was, an 8 Foot tree laying across the mutha fu*kin floor, stretched from the damn formal living room to the the damn den! glass from shattered ornaments and pine needles all over the damn floor! I thought, *now ain't this some shit!, talk about putting a damper on the Xmas "chi" *

Since, I was running late, I comtemplated leaving the bitch in the floor along with all the damn broked glass - thinking * I just don't have time for this BS this morning* Then I thought, well the dog might cut his little paws, so I swept up the glass. Then I struggled to pull this big ass tree upright. After getting pin needles all between by tits ( I was still semi clad)I leaned it against the wall.

It looked totally pathetic! broken ornaments, rearranged lights and all. I called "C" on my way to work and said "guess what?, the damn tree fell down!!!! It waited until you and T were gone, it probably thought I was gone too and laid it's ass down in the middle of the damn house"

"C" spent the majority of the afternoon working on standing the tree up, I said let's return the bitch - she wasn't havin that, cause she likes that one, I'm too through with it.

It's been upright for 24 hours now - we'll see, only time will tell.

Bah Humbug!