Hopluv's UnZen World

• Happy Easter everyone!  It's been some time since I did a regular post.  I've lost the motivation to post here, there and everywhere!  Coupled with, the recent move into the new house and the demands of work... the thrill to post has left the building.
• Speaking of the new house!  LOVES IT!  I've been in "Foxy" for about a month and half, I ended up closing on birthday on Mar 2nd.  What a gift to myself right?  Getting 30 years in debt lol.  Whateves!  I am SO BLESSED to be in a position to buy a home in this economy.  T and I are settling in nicely.  I figured out pretty much how all the systems work, with the exception of HVAC - still tinkering with those settings to find a comfortable temperature for each floor.  It took Time Warner Cable about five visits to stabilize the internet *sighs* and because its a new house in a new phase of the community it took AT&T two trips, the first visit lasting about six hours to complete the phone installation.
• Been thinking about getting a new puppy - Mini Schnauzer or Italian Greyhound.  The only turn off is I don't feel like house breaking it!  So, I might go with an older dog that's already trained.  But, they aren't as fun - and they don't have puppy breath :)
• I'm in deep vacation planning mode - for May and July.  I have a week in May and 2 weeks in July.  But, I'm on a serious budget - Foxy cost me a grip!  I'm thinking somewhere in Mexico for the May vacation since I went to Cabo for Christmas and LOVED IT!  Australia is still a heavy contender for July, but its super expensive - so not so sure if we will make it down under.  Any ideas for a cheap international destination?  
• Ok, I'm going to really start twittering again - I mean it this time!  I installed TweetDeck last week.  I've had Tweeter for awhile, but for some reason I just can't get into it.... not sure why.  If you are on Twitter holla!
• Oh damn, its raining on my new outdoor furniture!  I think I'm crazy - I know its outdoor furniture and its capable of withstanding the sun, wind and rain.  But I don't like when it gets dust on it or it rains or if the sun shines on it too much.  Yea, crazy as hell right?
• I want the new Ninetendo DSi - but I can't justify buying one.  I have a DS Lite that I never use.  It only gets utilized when we travel.
• Healthwise - I'm doing great!  I'm almost done with my Herceptin treatments, afterwhich I can have this freakin port removed.  The visits to my Oncologist are few and far between.  My hair started growing back in January, and surprisingly the texture is TOTALLY different then it was before it came out from chemo.  My hair has always been thick and course aka, nappy (require a perm), now its fine and curly.  I heard and read that this could happen - people's hair coming back different.  I'm having a hard time accepting this curly, soft hair on my head lol.  Its so odd to me.  I like it, but it is very odd!  
• What's everyone doing tomorrow for Easter?
  

• Happy 2009!  This is my first "ramblins" of the year.  The year for me has gotten off to a pretty decent start.  I don't plan to post much about breast cancer this year after this post, with the exception of occasional updates.   To all those in my Vox family that provided words of encouragement, blessings and positive vibes - THANK YOU!  You helped me get through a rough year and your support was appreciated!
• Funny thing is... for the last couple of week I've wanted to disassociate myself from all things cancer related.  I think it has to do with it being a new year and being told I was "cancer free" the first week in December.  I really want to put it all behind me.  I thought through this yesterday - I don't think that I can ever do that.  It's part of who I am now - forever.  And is it really healthy to do that?  I have been skipping my group sessions at Gilda's why?  Because it and the people there remind me of cancer.  I blew off a rehab appointment for my arm yesterday.  Why?  Because I did not want to look at Presbyterian Hospital yesterday and be reminded of cancer.  I can't get away from it if I tried though.  When I pass a mirror and see the peach fuss pattern of my hair growing back in - I'm reminded I had cancer.  When I shower and brush my hand across the bump that is the medi-port still in my chest for the purpose of infusions - I'm reminded I had cancer.  Every 21 days I return to the hospital for the infusion of Herceptin.  I sit in a room full of other patients in different stages of receiving chemotherapy - I'm reminded I had cancer.  Yea, I need to get my ass back over to Gilda's for my Wellness Group! 
• Had my first mammogram since the breast cancer diagnosis today.  I have to say I was nervous!  Went back to Dr. J's office, where it all started last March.  She was happy to see me and said I looked great!  She also did a sonogram of the breast that had the cancer.  She said everything looked great!  She now has to see me every six months to do a mammogram of that breast because of the history.  C went with me which was very cool!  I think I would have beat every person in that office ass if she told me anything remotely close to "you have something strange, you have breast..., let's do a biopsy.."  Instead she said every thing was fine and showed my sketches her 12 year daughter had done.  Lucky for her :)
  
• When I was growing up my mother had a formal living room which we really didn't use much.  It was always kept nice and used for special occassions.  Your folks have a room like that?  My mother also had underwear and night gowns that she reserved for "special" occassions.  Didn't make a lot of sense when I was a kid, however as a grew older and had my own household I started doing the same thing!  In previous homes I've had formal "off limits" rooms.  No one could sit in the room, vaccum cleaner lines had to be present on the carpet.  I loosened up on that in the last few years because I realized I wanted to live in every room in my home, and it was kinda dumb to have a room that no one used.  Still, I had "things" reserved as "special" certain clothes, shoes, jewelry and even perfume.  But why?  I could die tonight and my daughter T would get all that shit!  And knowing her, sell it on Ebay with no thought about it at all.  I was talking to T about this yesterday...  I told her I'm going to start wearing all my shit, all the time!  Although, I work from home.. I'm going to stop reserving stuff... gonna spray on my Cartier perfume in the mornings, Prada in the evenings and wear my nicest jeans around the house.  She laughed and said "when I come in from work you gonna be sitting up in here dressed in your best clothes, with your best jewlery and perfume on!"  I told her you damn skippy! Why not?  I need to stop thinking about living tomorrow and start living every day like its my last one - you dig??  Tomorrow is not promised.
• The house is coming along great!  I asked the builder for a firm completion date.  He is thinking it will be done mid March instead of the end.  Barring any bad weather he has committed to providing the date within the next week or so.
• I think I have located the chairs I want for my sitting area in the kitchen.  Teresa thanks for reminding me about E3Q.  I went yesterday afternoon to look at one I saw online.  They have about a 8 week shipping time, so I will see if I find anything I like better in the next week or so before ordering them.
• Work is going great!  Easing into the new year with the perfect pace.  Still some worrisome accounts, but I won't complain.  I'm so blessed to have a job!
• T starts a new semester on the 19th.  Had to drop the tuition for her classes this morning - yea as usual she waited to the last minute.  She works nearly a 40 hour week on her part time job!  In the voice of Rick Ross "every day she hustlin!"
• Dropping the mic!

The Good

• I'm alive! This was the worst year of my life health wise with the breast cancer diagnosis in March.  But, I'm here to write about it - I'm alive!  After almost 9 months of treatment, I was told I am cancer free.
• My kid has had a pretty healthy year, other than the pain associated with wisdom teeth removal she suffered no sickness or health issues.
• Oddly, the breast cancer allowed me personal reflection of myself.  I've always believed everything happens for a reason - God put me through this battle as part of my life plan.  I can say it has made me stronger, evaluate people and life differently.  So, I will say breast cancer was a good thing.  Sounds ridiculous..  I know.
• The people that came through for me during my struggle with the beast known as breast cancer. 
  
• Good health insurance and my highly competent team of physicians.
  
• Being able to maintain my position with the company I work for through the illness, re-organization and affects of the economy.  My boss was so supportive of my situation!  She even sent me Truffles last week with a hand written card to say how proud she was of me getting through the treatment while working!  You couldn't ask for a nicer boss.
• Taking a much needed vacation this year to Cabo San Lucas for Christmas after thinking I wouldn't be able to go anywhere.
• My new home currently being built.
• I am positive about all that 2009 has to bring!  2008, like 2005 the year my mother died, will always have a dark cloud hanging on my memories of it.  
• One ray of sunlight  for '08 is Barack Obama being elected as the first African American President of the United States of America.

The Bad

• The obvious negativeness associated with the economy, and government.
• My beloved Mini Schnauzer Bentley was attacked and mauled by a Staffordshire Bull Terrier.  Although, he was scared up really bad and lost teeth - he survived!
  
• Breast cancer.  Yes, everything does happen for a reason and it made me stronger.  But, that however does not negate the fact that it was bad.
•  The people that did not come through for me during my struggle with the beast known as breast cancer. 

The Ugly

• The side affects of surgery, chemotherapy and radiation.  Some were permanent, but that's OK.  I"M ALIVE!  And my hair is starting to grow back :)

I'm not going to make goals and resolutions for 2009.  The trials of 2008 have truly helped me understand the meaning behind "tomorrow is not promised."   I will enter into 2009 with guns blazing living and enjoying my live to the fullest!

Happy New Year!

Just got back from the hospital's Outpatient Rehab for the first visit to evaluation the Lymphedema in my right arm and hand as I spoke about here.  Good things is that it is considered Stage 1 and is a extremely mild case.

When I told my Oncologist that I would be getting on a plane she wanted to hurry and get me scheduled to start the therapy and get measured for a compression sleeve.  The lack of stabilized cabin pressure in an airplane can cause my arm to swell tremendously because of the lack of lymph nodes under my arm.  I was going to Cabo with or without a sleeve even if I had to wrap my arm in duct tape lol!

Luckily the representative that has the compression garments was onsite when I was there, so I was able to be fitted today.  The evaluation took way to long due to the Therapist's computer illiteracy problems and unnecessary line of questions about my personal life.  I actually think she was gay.  When the woman with the compression sleeve was going over it the Therapist showed her the swelling across the top of my hand but then she continue to stroke my hand.  I looked at her and she stopped - how weird is that?

I didn't know the sleeve was going to come with all that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Anyhoo, I got one for my arm thats beige in color - don't like it.  For my hand she had one that matched my skin tone a little better.  I have to wear them during the day and can remove them at night.  They really are not a good look!  I will be searching the internet for better looking ones.  And can you believe these ugly ass things cost me $135.00!  Apparently, most insurance companies don't cover them.  I have 3 weeks of therapy scheduled (2 times weekly) starting after Christimas.

Cabo here I come, ugly sleeve and all!!

 

My townhouse aka "Foxy" (yes, there is a meaning behind her name.  Has to do with the street she is on) is making mega progress!  I've been visiting her regularly checking on how she is coming along.  I had a pre-dry wall meeting with the builder Thursday morning.  We walked the entire house and he explained all her "guts" :)  She is on schedule, actually a little ahead of schedule for completion this Spring.  We reviewed the upgrades I selected for her before they start ordering everything.  Only thing that was not accounted for was a glass door I wanted for an upper bedroom that will be my office.  He also noticed that the outlets in the closet on the 2nd floor that will store my audio/visual equipment was too low, so it will be raised up a bit.

The green color that is on the base of the wood in the framing is actually a pesticide.  "If" any insects were to to get into the walls and started chewing he said they wouldn't like the taste of the wood and leave!  How awesome is that!

The HVAC wiring and installation was completed this past week.  The insulation and drywall are coming up this weekend - so I drove out to get some pictures.   Bricking should start shortly, following the completion of the building next to Foxy.   Seems the construction crew continues to leave their garbage :)  I told "C" Foxy don't eat, drink or smoke!  And apparently they think she likes Mexican food :) that plate was full of peppers and the remains of some kind of taco.

Pics posted over here....

Had an appointment with my Oncologist bright and early this morning.  I was a bit apprehensive since I knew she would be discussing the results of several test and scans I had last week.  The main one being a PET scan.  This test is important in determining cancer cells within the body.  In my case, she basically had me do one to see if all my treatment worked - surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, and if there had been any spread of the disease.

Because cancer had spread from my breast to two lymph nodes under my right arm I have/had a higher probability for metastasis.  Knowing that - I was nervous to get the results.  She came into the room all smiles and immediately began to read my report.  Then I heard her say "no signs of metastatic breast cancer"  That means - no traces of cancer remain in my body - the treatment worked!!!

Pardon me while I do the "happy dance!"

I do have two issues that need to be investigated and treated - one is a couple of nodules on my thyroid.  Dr. M isn't worried about it,  just wants me to have a Specialist check it out.
The other is a mild case of Lymphedema in my right arm.  This is due to the 18 lymph nodes removed from my armpit area.   She is going to have me do some therapy for that and get fitted for a compression sleeve.

Ya know, things could have been a LOT worse!  I can "deal" with these issues which I consider minor in comparison to what it could have been.  I'm happy to NOT have cancer!  I'm blessed! 

• Tomorrow I will complete my 33rd of 33 radiation treatments.  This finish date seemed so far away, but actually came quicker than I thought it would.
• This week and last week have been a little rough as side affects of the compounded radiation started to set in - my skin has burned and blistered making a bra impossible to wear.  Me without a bra - not a good look!  I'm a bit tired, but work has been very busy so its hard to tell if its the treatment or not.
  
• The conclusion of this treatment brings me one step closer to finishing all prescribed treatment for my breast cancer.  The Herceptin infusion every 21 days will last for another 5 months or so.
• Dr. M ordered a PET scan which I will be taking the first week in December.  This scan will reveal if there are any remaining cancer cells in my body - so pretty important test.  I pray the results are positive.
• I had the pain in my heel checked out yesterday - seems its Tendonitis.  Dr. R. prescribed an anti inflammatory.  I feel so damn broken!  I need another prescribed drug like a need a hole in my head.  Oh well, it is what it is.  I plan to do a lot of activities in Cabo San Lucas next month, so got to get the dogs right.
• I'm excited about the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.  We will be eating out, but I do plan to prepare a lite meal for grazing Thanksgiving afternoon.  I have so much to be thankful for. 
  
• Enough for now.